Little Acorn

Happy Home-a-versary Weekend!

March 26th, 2010, we finally stumbled in our own door, set down our suitcases and were HOME forever. We were tired, jet-lagged, sick, and adjusting to our new lives, but we were HAPPY. Even Adeline, who was only seven months old and who had just gone through a huge change in her life knew that there was something special about being home. She was immediately comfortable here and hated to leave to go anywhere.

Here is sweet baby Adeline last year in the playroom on her very first day home...

This weekend we celebrated being home for a year by having a full two days of family fun! On Saturday we went to the Ocean Discovery Centre and I've NEVER seen Adeline more excited. She kept yelling "WOW!" and this was the face she had the entire time we were there...

Everything she saw she yelled hi to. And I mean YELLED. "HI FISH". "HI JELLYFISH". "HI OCTOPUS." "HI ANEMONE!" "HI SHRIMP!" "HI CRAB!" "HI SEA STAR!".

After we said hello to all the fish and stood for a very long time in front of every tank we headed outside to check out the seagulls. Adeline is VERY into birds lately and she was excited to see lots of seagulls here near the water and she also really liked running in the big field.

Here she is spotting an "eagull up inna sky, fly fly fly".

And here she is waiting impatiently for more seagulls to appear...

Once I got too cold it was time to find somewhere for supper. We continued the "under the sea" theme with a visit to a restaurant where Adeline had what is likely to become her favourite meal ever - tasty breaded shrimp and yam fries. She even shared a chocolate milkshake with her Daddy because it was a very special occasion!

On Sunday Adeline was super excited to have her friend Mylan over for a play in the morning. They worked together on an art project...

Had a snack...

And of course played, played, played, played, played. Toddlers are notoriously hard to get a picture of as they are in constant motion, but we tried... The trampoline was especially popular and the girls did a great job sharing and taking turns. I just love watching Adeline have fun with her friends!

We finished off the day with a trip to the park and ice cream cake after dinner, just to make it a full weekend of celebrating. I can't believe how fast the last year has gone. Seriously. Someone has put our life on superspeed mode and I just want it all to slow down so that we can really enjoy each stage before we're on to the next one. Adeline was such a little baby last year and here she is zooming towards two years old already and very much a little girl now. I really love the age she's at now, as she's just so happy and curious about the world and is learning new things all the time, but I think I've said that about every age before this one too. The last year has been...amazing. It's a word that gets used a lot, but I am truly and utterly AMAZED by my daughter and how wonderful and funny and smart and sweet and stubborn she is and I'm AMAZED by how much we love each other and I'm AMAZED by how happy she makes me every single day.

 

Then and Now

Then...a year ago in Hanoi

Now...this week

One Year Ago

On March 11th, 2010 we were reunited with Adeline and could really start our life as a family of three. With our continuing sickness, the official day kind of went by unmarked, but every day lately I'm thinking about this time last year when we were happily hanging out and getting to know each other in Hanoi.

Adeline was such a sweet, happy and easy-going baby, and although we spent far too much time at the clinic having Adeline's hands taken care of, it was still a wonderful babymoon. We have so many great memories of that time.

Lots of families celebrate the day of their Giving and Receiving Ceremony as their "Forever Family" day, but it's hard for us to think of March 11th as that happy a day. Having the ceremony behind us was a huge relief, but there was also a lot of worry and fear about Adeline's hands and definitely some leftover feelings of hurt that we hadn't already been home with our girl for three months as we should have been. Plus we knew that completing the Vietnamese portion of the adoption was only the first step, and that we still needed to deal with Canadian immigration before we could come home. We didn't expect anything to go wrong and nothing did, but once you've had it all go so bad like we did you never just expect that things will work out. We also knew that as happy as we were to have Adeline with us, that for her it's the day when she lost Nga and the other women who loved her so much, and all the familiar sights and sounds that surrounded her for the first seven months of her life. I think the day that we'll really celebrate as our "Happy Home Forever Day" is March 26th. The day when, after 30 hours of international travel with a sick and teething baby who miraculously slept and smiled through it all, we finally arrived home, and could watch our daughter settle in to the rest of her life. Home forever. Now THAT was a happy day!

12 months, 12 posts

 

Maybe you're new here (and if so, HI!) or maybe you just want an end of the year review of the ups and downs of last year, so here are 12 posts from January through December of 2010 that sum it all up (AS IF 12 little posts could sum up the hugeness of 2010 for our family...)

January

February

 

 

March

 

 

April

 

May

 

June

 

July

 

August

September

 

October

 

November

 

December

 

 

Although there are many things we are looking forward to in 2011 and many hopes and dreams we have for our family, David and I only have one resolution, and that is to take more photos of all three of us together this year. More Adeline plus Mama photos, more Adeline plus Daddy photos and especially more Adeline plus both her parent photos! As much as we love every cute expression on our girls face and every beautiful image of our gorgeous small person, we know that when Adeline looks back, what she is going to want to see are pictures of her happy family and all the good times we had together. It doesn't seem that hard, right? Like most folks, David and I are both pretty awkward in front of the camera and pretty critical of any photos of ourselves, but we know that the more we do it the more comfortable we'll get, and that in the end it's absolutely not about us. We started on our resolution early by taking some family photos with the tripod and the remote control in front of the tree right after Christmas. Yes, I'm grinning like a crazy person and David appears to be slipping into some sort of shortbread induced coma, but it's just the sort of photo I'm sure Adeline will treasure someday.

Happy New Year everyone! May 2011 bring you and yours all that your heart desires.

365

Exactly one year ago today, sweet baby Thanh Lam met her parents for the first time and we were finally able to hold our little one in our arms. Our girl was so very worried, but very brave, and we were so happy to have finally met the small person who would transform us into parents.

A small project to honour this day...

11/24/09 from Lisa Roberts on Vimeo.

 

 

Greater Than

Last week had another day worth celebrating in it...I knew we were close, but didn't do the calculations until just now.

Adeline spent 214 days sleeping, playing, eating, growing, learning, laughing and loving in the arms of her special caregiver at the orphanage and after last Saturday she has spent a greater amount of days with her Mama and Daddy than she did there. I've said many times how grateful I am for the loving, attentive and home-like care that Adeline got while we waited to be united, but it still feels momentous to me that she has been with us longer than we were apart. I know that those 214 days helped make Adeline who she is today, and they will always be with her as a part of her history. Who knows what influence they had or how they shaped the person that she was becoming - all I know is that with the combined influence of her biological gifts and her very early experiences with her first family, her early months being cared for by a group of wonderful women and her time at home with us that Adeline has grown into an amazing girl. Smart. Funny. Beautiful. Stubborn. Open hearted. Joyful. Spunky. Affectionate. Creative. Loving... You know I could go on and on...

Adeline has discovered her baby doll and has been taking very good care of her - feeding her often, patting her back, hugging and kissing her, covering her with a blanket and reading her books. Yes, I see myself in these actions but I also see the kind and gentle way I know she was cared for as a tiny baby. We have a picture of Adeline and her special caregiver on our refrigerator along with our other family pictures and Adeline often points to it and says her name and smiles. When Adeline is taking care of her baby I sometimes ask her "Is that how Nga fed you when you were a little baby?" or something like that and she gets the funniest smile and a look of recognition. Adeline does always feed her baby like I saw it being done at the orphanage - with the baby's head resting on the leg of the caregiver. Maybe she doesn't exactly remember, but it's still with her. Who knows?

 

Three

Today we have been home with Adeline for three months...

Happy Mother's Day!

To me! Yes, finally I can claim this day as my own! My journey to Mama-hood wasn't an easy one, and there were a few years when the second Sunday in May found me sad/mad/bad, but all that has changed and all I can think about is how perfectly it all came together so that when Adeline needed a Mama, I was there for her. People who give birth know an exact date when they became a Mother - maybe it was the first day they knew they were pregnant or the day when their bundle of joy arrived, but it's a little less cut and dried when you became a Mother through adoption. Do I choose September 22nd, when I first saw a picture of Adeline's tiny perfect face with it's rosebud mouth and sleepy eyes and heard David shout "It's a girl!!!" as he shook me with joy?

But maybe I became a Mother before I even knew it, on the hot day in July when my girl was born or on the day when her first Mother chose adoption for her? Or what about November 24th, when our tiny anxious-but-brave girl was first placed in my arms amidst the happy cacophony of five new families being formed?

Or maybe it was December 12th, the terrible day when I was forced to return my daughter to the orphanage and go home without her. The day I knew that I couldn't live without her and that I would do anything and sacrifice anything to return for her.

Or maybe you could choose the day when I legally became a Mother - March 11th - when my daughter passed from the arms of her loving Nanny at the orphanage to me for the very last time.

All I know is that I am Adeline's Mother, for now and always, and she's made me the happiest  Mama on the planet! I love my girl so much, and I'm so happy to share Mother's Day with Adeline's birth Mother and with Nga, the orphanage Nanny who loved Adeline until I could finally bring her home.

 

 

One Month

Today is the day that we celebrate being home one whole month and tomorrow we will mark the day when Adeline is no longer an 8 month old and she heads off into the new adventure of being a 9 month old. I know every Mother has the same lament, but, "Where is my baby going?". Adeline has learned so much and changed so much this month. I can't wait to see what the ninth month of Adeline's life will bring...I think there are big things on the horizon for this busy and happy girl.

In her first month home and her 8th month on this planet Adeline:

- learned to clap and wave and sign the word "more" 

- learned to understand many new words including "Mama" "Daddy" "Musette" "Zephyr" "kiss" and "cracker"

- started to crawl and is working very hard to pull herself up to a stand all by herself

- grew and grew and grew and got too big for most of her 3-6 month clothes and is making the transition to 6-12 month sizes

- continued to love books and spent a long time after her tubby each night reading them with her Daddy

- learned a bunch of new facial expressions, many of them sassy!

- decided that she wasn't a picky eater, but that there are a few things she just doesn't want anything to do with - oatmeal and corn are the two foods that make her the saddest

- developed a great pincer grip for eating her favourite new food - cold plain kidney beans

- started giving spontaneous hugs and kisses to her Mama and Daddy

- got her two bottom teeth

- perfected the amazing feat of being able to nap for EXACTLY 38 minutes each and every time, no matter if she falls asleep drinking her bottle, in bed, in her stroller or on her Mama's shoulder (note - 38 minutes is not even close to a long enough nap)

- visited the Doctor, the Burn Clinic, the Physiotherapist and the Plastic Surgeon

- met lots of new friends, including some who were adopted just like she was

- woke up smiling almost every day and laughed a lot

- discovered that swinging is very very fun, but a tiny bit scary

- wore a lot of cute hats

I don't know if I should really be sharing this next part. Sometimes I wonder what people really want and how much of the truth is necessary. But I've been surprised in the last fews days by just how angry I suddenly am about the 3 months we missed being with Adeline due to politics, politicians and political wrangling and I just felt like I needed to write about it to try and sort it all out. We still don't even know the real reasons that we were sent home. There are rumours and we've pieced together some things and have a few facts here and there, but no one is able to tell us WHY we couldn't be together and that just adds to my anger. I know Adeline was loved when we were apart and I know that coming home at 7 months old is considered very young in the world of international adoption, and yes, mostly I'm so very happy and relieved that we are finally together,  but for the first time I'm really ANGRY. Perhaps even the angriest I've ever been. I don't even know exactly who or what I'm angry at and there is nothing I can do to change the situation, but I'm just plain mad sometimes. Adeline SHOULD have come home when she was 4 months old and we shouldn't have missed so much time with her. We shouldn't have missed being together for Adeline's first Christmas. We shouldn't have missed when she learned to sit up or give kisses or when she first had solid food or the many other firsts that happen in those months. Adeline should never have had to experience the pain and scariness of being burned and she shouldn't have to deal for the rest of her life with having scars on both hands. I had flashes of anger when we had to return her to the orphanage and go home to wait, but mostly I was absolutely gutted with sadness and so worried about the future that I didn't have much time or use for anger. David was angry. Really really angry, although his sadness was scarier to me, but I just didn't feel angry. Or maybe I just didn't want to feel it, as anger has always been a difficult emotion for me, but there's no denying it now. Seeing how much Adeline changed this past month makes me ache to think of all the things I missed in the 89 days that we were apart and it makes me so angry that anyone could think that tearing apart a Mother and child who had already been together for 2 weeks was in anyone's best interest. I was willing to stay as long as it took to sort things out, but I was given no choice but to leave. I feel like I let Adeline down by leaving her, even though logically I know that I couldn't do anything else and that makes me angry too. Ack. I really don't like being angry. I never have. I just don't know what to do with this feeling and how to get over it. It doesn't diminish my joy in my daughter each and every day and I'm not wallowing in the anger, but I don't want to feel like this. Or maybe I do. Maybe I need to feel the anger so that I can let it go and move on. I can't change the past, but every day our family is making our present together. Maybe it will just take time and the more days and months and years we are together as a family, the less I will think about those horrible 89 days when we were kept apart.

Okay, enough of that. Back to the cute and fun and happy tomorrow. Because believe me, the cute, fun and happy that Adeline has brought to our life is ENORMOUS!

 

The Shirt

In case you can't make it out, this shirt says "Daddy Tweets me Nice" and has a picture of a bird on it. We didn't buy many clothes before we found out if the small person was going to be a boy or a girl, but once we received our proposal on September 22nd the shopping spree began. This was one of the very first things that David picked out to buy for his daughter and it became a symbol for him. To be honest it's not a shirt I would have ever chosen, but when I saw the look in his eye that evening at Old Navy I knew that we would be bringing it home. While we waited to travel to Vietnam to meet our girl he hung this tiny shirt on the handle of the wardrobe so that it was the last thing he saw before he went to sleep and the first thing he saw when he awoke. It was his inspiration to work hard to get ready for her homecoming and many dreams were dreamed while thinking of this shirt and the amazing fact that one day soon a real live baby girl would wear it. Sometimes it still seems like a dream that Adeline is home and she is wearing the shirt that her Daddy picked out for her. September seems like so long ago now. So much has happened in our lives since then. The highest highs to the lowest lows and back again - can it really have just been a matter of months?

And it's absolutely true - Adeline's Daddy DOES tweet her nice! 

Easter, 2010

Do you recognize the lamb softie? I must have known that Adeline would be home for Easter as right before we got the call to travel to Vietnam I just knew I had to make a little lamb for my girl. I woke up with the thought in my head one morning and I couldn't rest until it was done. I'm glad I got it finished before we left,  as I think crafting time is going to be pretty limited for a long, long time  awhile. There are so many things I want to make for Adeline that I'm starting to get pretty antsy to spend even just an hour in my studio. Oh well, my time will come. She is only going to be this little for such a short amount of time that I need to enjoy every moment of her babyhood. 

 

Oh, the cuteness of a baby girl in a ridiculously huge bow! This one is from Betsy's Bowtique on Etsy - lovely product, good price, friendly seller - couldn't recommend her more! One of my ways to cope with the stress and anxiety of waiting to return to Vietnam was to buy our girl things on Etsy. I never thought I was a bow person, but when I saw them I had to have them. In many colours. And lots of different sizes. Most days Adeline wears sweatpants and a onesie (or just a diaper and socks if she's hanging out with Daddy), but for Easter, dressing up is the thing to do. When we applied to adopt from Vietnam we were told that we could not choose the gender of our child. Ethically this made a lot of sense to us as (unfair as it is) the vast majority of parents will choose to wait for a girl and boys end up staying in orphanages just because of their gender. Although we had always pictured ourselves as the parents of girls and the thought of raising a teenaged boy scared us just a bit, we were excited about being proposed a baby boy and in many ways really expected it. But in our hearts and dreams, we always hoped that the small person would be a girl. Not just so we could dress her up and put bows in her hair, but let's be honest - that's one of the perks! Baby boys are crazy great in their own way and the raising of a good man who would walk the earth after we're gone would be a wonderful thing, but we're so excited about getting to share our lives with our very own little girl! We have to dress Adeline up now as it won't be long before she has an opinion on what she wears and we may never see her this girly again. Or she might be a total girly girl and we'll never see her in jeans. It's fascinating to think of who she might become...I can't even guess, but I know she's going to be AMAZING!

Home!

Sorry about the long wait to hear from us. All is well, but both Adeline and I are sick, sick, sick and we're all suffering the effects of jet lag and poor David is back to work already. We arrived tired and sickly but very happy around 11 pm on Friday. Adeline was truly awesome on all her flights, but especially on the big 11 hour flight from Taipei to Vancouver.

 

Adeline fell asleep 3 hours before the flight took off, woke up for about half an hour during boarding and then slept for 9 of the 11 hours we were in the air. Having no bassinet was a challenge, but we managed to contort ourselves into a fairly comfortable position and even David and I managed to sleep a bit. Adeline woke up once and had a bottle, but then went right back to sleep - she didn't even wake up during the meal services when they turned on the lights and clattered up and down the aisles.

The poor girl is really sick with her cold and has shared it with me and I'm really sick too, but she has been so happy to be home! We are both mouth-breathing, coughing, wheezing, not-sleeping messes, but the baby is handling it with a lot less whining than her Mom is! Adeline is really enjoying exploring her new home. Her high chair is her new very favourite place and she is eating us out of house and home. Also a huge hit is the Jolly Jumper. She was a natural - she can get serious air in that thing and it just cracks her up. Adeline slept so well in Vietnam, so we hope that once this cold and jet lag passes and she starts to feel more secure that we will back to that, as right now at night she is waking up every hour or two to have a 5 minute snuggle and cry and is wanting to catnap all day long. Maybe we just need to recreate the sensation of flying in a 747... Adeline has loved meeting her Nana and she is fascinated by the cats, who seem equally as interested in her. I can't describe how good it feels to finally be home where we belong. I can't believe that David headed back to work today. I know Adeline and I will be fine, but her and I have really gotten used to having Daddy around all the time and we already miss him a lot! I want us all to get healthy and a little caught up on sleep so that I can start introducing Adeline to all her new friends!

 

Happily playing in her playroom after breakfast on her first morning home....just the picture I had been waiting to see.

Waiting to Come Home

Happy times here in Hanoi as we wait for Adeline's Canadian passport to be issued! She continues to be a joyful, easy-going, busy and fun baby and we couldn't be more in love! Our days are getting short here and we will be leaving for home on Friday. Each day we try and get out to see some of the city and are so thankful that Adeline is a happy little traveller who loves to be out and about. In some ways I can't wait to get back to our house, where things like food and laundry will all be so much easier, but I will be sad to leave Vietnam as well. We love it here and can't wait to return for a family holiday at some point. Our flights home total about 30 hours of travel time, so hopefully Adeline will be happy and will sleep for a good portion of our longest flight. Once home I'm sure jet lag and all the big changes will make for some trying times, and both Adeline and I will be very sad to see David head off to work on Monday morning, but I'm sure we'll all adjust to our new life and will be in a happy family rut routine soon enough. After all the drama that bringing our daughter home entailed, the idea of quiet domesticity sounds better than ever!

 

Happy Happy Happy

All continues to be wonderful in Hanoi! Adeline is a sunny, contented baby who sleeps well and is a champion eater! Despite the fact that her hands are still bandaged, she loves to play with her toys and she is happy most of the time (except when we want to change her clothes and then we can see her temper!) All our paperwork is now COMPLETE and we are just waiting for her Canadian Passport to be sent from the High Commission in Singapore. We are on schedule to leave for home on Friday, March 26th! Yayyyyyyy!!!

 

All is Well

Just a quick post to let you all know that we arrived in Vietnam safely and that our adoption process is proceeding just as we expected. Adeline is officially and forever our daughter as of yesterday and now we just wait for the Canadian immigration process to be completed.  Adeline is an absolute joy and we just can't get her to stop smiling and laughing!

You will probably notice the bandages in the photos. Adeline was in an accident a couple of weeks ago and received some burns to her hands. We were quite concerned as they look bad, but after taking her to the international clinic last night we have been assured that with proper care over the next little while that her hands will heal completely.

Everything is GOOD.

Finally.