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October 02, 2014


Oh, my dear friend, I totally get it. It is so hard. The whole part about not getting to go into the classroom and at least see what they are doing because they can never remember when you ask is what got to me the most. I hated not knowing. Hated, hated, hated. And, now in grade 1, I still do. Why does it have to be like this? We didn't even get any artwork or projects sent home - they were all saved up and given to us at parent/teacher interview time or added to her scrapbook that we brought home at the end of the year, which is nice because they are preserved, but you just have no idea what they are learning or talking about or doing. And, we also deal with the lunches that come home with so much still not eaten and stories of not having enough time... sigh. It does get a bit better, but I just wanted to let you know that I totally, completely understand because I've been there!

I felt the exact same way when my oldest started first grade. (This was back in the day when kindergarten was just half day, so 1st grade was the first year he was gone all day.) I volunteered in the classroom every week. Is that a possibility where you live? I also eventually joined the PTO, which gave me an insider's scoop on school happenings, and volunteered to chair school events that interested me, such as the book sale. Getting involved at the school in any way you can will help you feel connected.

As for the remembering something every day, and having forms to fill out and checks to send in and donations for this, that, and the other? That will not end, ever. In fact, my oldest is now a senior, and even though I dread him leaving for college less than one year from now, a teeny part of me is looking forward to the end of having to keep track of so many things.

Why don't you just leave her home one day a week. I did with my daughter and it was easier on me and she like to be home one day a week. We did our violin lesson on Tues. mornings and i told the secretary at school she would not be coming on that day so that she did not have to call every week.


Lisa, I will try to email you on so many of your things. I have a K/1 this year. Are the k's being given any extra time to eat lunch? My teaching partner and I had a few days where snack was inside and then recess outside. The pick up and drop off outside is most likely so the classroom isn't swarmed by parents! We have an incredibly small cloakroom and are allowing parents to help in the morning but take them outside at the end of the day. I would welcome you to pop by. Do you think the teacher would be receptive to you peeking in after school one day a week? You could always take her some muffins or cookies as an excuse to go in the first time. Have you had Kind intake interviews? I don't have one due to only being part time but have in the past kept a blog. Some teachers love this, some hate it! Pictures of kids are difficult unless it is secure. Is this something you think the teacher might be willing to do if she had a parent to run the blog for her? Sorry, my friend but I am volunteering you for that job. It could be a once a week update. I have never had a parent with a blog but would very happily and gratefully let you keep one for my room. The teacher could email you a weekly update and you could post. Lots of rules and regs but something parents love. The forms are NUTS at the beginning of the year. Everything requires consent, permission and a signature! Try collecting and keeping track of them for the office. I HATE HATE this part if my job.

That was basically everything I hated about kindergarten (we've moved on to first grade). Like, to the letter. Except 15 MINUTES for lunch? They are there forEVER it seems like they can find enough time to eat reasonably. The pick up/drop off thing really is because it get crazy in the halls - they say it "fosters independence" because it sounds better than "parents, there is no room for all of you at once!" I'm sure it helps with the weepers too.

I'm glad Ellie isn't the only one with School Day Amnesia. She talks pretty much non-stop once she gets home but there's very little about what she did all day! I solved the problem a little bit by "talking about her day" after she was in bed at night. We actually started that way back when she switched to her Big Bed but it really came in handy! I tell how I woke her up, what was for breakfast, rode bikes to school and walked her to the door, and then what? And she fills what she thinks was important about while we were apart (prompts: tell me one thing that made you sad, three things that made you happy, two things that will surprise me). What she thinks is important about her day and what I would like to know about her day are not usually the same thing. I take over when we pick her up and go on until bedtime.

My other tip for you is PTO/PTA or volunteer in the office or library. There is no better excuse to be at school and peek in on your child than helping out! That might be a hard with Vivi, but we've got moms who come help out with babies in tow (it's nice when they can wear them and have both hands free) so you could see what the policy is about that. We can also go and eat lunch with our children - you might check on that too.

It really angers me that people complain about responsibilities that they signed up for when becoming a parent. I used to enjoy your blog, but discovered at the time that you seemed disappointed that your beautiful daughter needed glasses that what you really care about is yourself and your own selfish needs. Having put three children through college, I will tell you that being a parent isn't all playtime and sunshine - it takes hard work, something that you are obviously not cut out for. Buck up.

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